By Dave DeWitt

In order to determine American preferences for chili con carne, the Gallup Organization, sponsored by Hormel^® Foods Corporation, conducted 1,003 telephone interviews with a national sample of adults age 18 and over during the period of May 7 through June 7, 2003. The sampling error is plus or minus 3 percentage points at the 95 percent confidence level, whatever that means. Here are the results of the survey. Because of some wacky responses, not all percentages add up to 100 percent.

Which region is most famous for its chili?

Southwest: 56%
South: 22%
Midwest: 12%

(Editor’s note: apparently chili is unknown in California and Massachusetts.)

Which season is chili-eating time?

Winter: 70%
Fall: 13%
Summer: 7%

(Editor’s question: have you ever eaten chili in the Spring?)

What is the “key formula” for chili?

Meat with beans: 82%
Meat without beans: 11%
Meatless with beans: 4%
Meatless without beans: 3%

(Editor’s question: if you take out both the meat and the beans, what is left? Filler?)

Have you ever made chili?

Yes: 72% (80% of women, 62% of men)
No: 28%

Do you have a “secret ingredient” in your chili?

Yes: 22%
No: 78%

Will you divulge your “secret ingredient?”

Yes: 18%
No: 82%

(Editor’s note: of those who divulged their “secret ingredient,” the results were: chile peppers, cayenne chiles, hot sauce, sugar, and cumin. Wow, some secrets!)

What is your preferred heat level for chili?

Hot and spicy: 54% (63% of men, 46% of women)
Mild: 33%
Sweet and tangy: 11%

(Editor’s question: did the “sweet and tangy” respondents all live in the Midwest?)

What is your favorite topping for chili?

Cheddar cheese: 47%
Crushed tortilla chips or crackers: 20%
Onions: 9%
Sour cream: 6%

(Editor’s guess about the missing 18%: Anchovies, 10%; Ice Cream, 5%; and Soy Chips, 3%.)

Have you ever used chili as an ingredient in another recipe?

Yes: 41%
No: 49%

(Editor’s note: respondents who said yes cited chili’s use in hot dogs, nachos, as a chip dip, and in chili cheese fries, all certifiable gourmet uses.)

Why do you eat chili?

For its flavor: 67%
For its convenience: 10%

(Editor’s guess about the missing 23%: For its attractive can: 13%; and For its use of turkey, 10%.)

What is the best occasion for eating chili?

A family meal: 50%
While watching a big sporting event on TV: 22%
A party in a hot tub with hookers: 28%

(Editor’s note: I made up the last one.)

What is the best made-up quote about chili from a Hormel® executive?

“No matter where you go in America, or how you prepare it, chili is a beloved and versatile food both as a main dish and as an accompaniment.”  –Paul Krapf (sic), senior product manager, Hormel® Chili: 56%
“Chili really ignites passion and creativity in the people who love it.”  –Paul Krapf (sic), senior product manager, Hormel® Chili: 44%.